Diversity & Equality in Health and Care Open Access

Keywords

Pre-marriage; Divorce; Newborn; Islam

Introduction

Islam is a religion that is manifestly a perfect code for a life that is in harmony with nature. The purpose of Islam is to guide humanity towards perfection and to communicate the rules and ordinances of how to live life, the following of which, leads mankind towards perfection both individually and socially. The learned and wise are in agreement with the view that a prosperous society develops from successful families whose success in turn stems from a husband and wife’s codependent union. This success depends upon choosing an appropriate life partner, to be exact, a choice that keeps religious guidelines, standards and requisites in view. Regarding the importance of marriage The Holy Prophet (PBUH) has stated:

“There is no foundation beloved by Allah than that of marriage.”

Position of marriage in Islam

According to Imams Abu Hanifah, Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Malik ibn Anas, marriage is recommendatory, however in certain individuals it becomes wajib/obligatory. Imam Shaafi'i considers it to be nafl or mubah (preferable). The general opinion is that if a person, male or female fears that if he/she does not marry they will commit fornication, then marriage becomes "wajib". If a person has strong sexual urges then it becomes "wajib" for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed especially if one has the means to do so.

Importance of marriage in Islam

Islam established its own theory for the process of spouse selection. The issue of marriage in Islam is not an issue of mere sexual satisfaction. Islam considers marriage an institution to establish a family. Therefore, Islam urges marriage seekers to select long lasting relationships, establish beloved, and caring families, which should serve the society. All these conditions would not be fulfilled unless there is a pious and righteous spouse, who is mindful of the commands of Allah (s.w.t.) and careful about all duties entrusted to him or her. However, other issues of social life must not be neglected

Allah (S.W.T.) states in Quran: “Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His Grace: for Allah encompassed all and He know all things”. Sura al-Nur (Q24:32)

The imperative form of the word ‘Nikah’. Implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.

Holy Prophet (PBUH) said:

“The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.”

Categories of prohibited women to marry

1. Relatives

2. Breastfeeding

3. Marriage

Prohibition due to closest relatives

Allah has prohibited seven women to be marry from close relatives as follows:

1. Mothers

2. Daughters

3. Sisters

4. Father’s sisters

5. Mother’s sisters

6. Brother’s daughters

7. Sister’s daughters

Prohibition due to breastfeeding

It is prohibited to marry seven women as follows:

1. Mothers

2. Sisters

3. Brother’s daughter

4. Sister’s daughter

5. Mother’s sister

6. Father’s sister

7. Daughter

Prohibition due to intermarriage

Islam prohibits five women to marry as follows:

1. Wife’s mother

2. Wife’s daughter

3. Son’s wife

4. Two sisters at the same time

5. Father’s wife

Who to marry and who not to marry from glorious Qur’an: Allah mentioned most of the categories of women one is not allowed to marry either permanently or temporarily and those allowed in the following verses:

“And do not marry women whom your fathers married except what has already passed. It was indeed obscene, hateful and an evil way. Forbidden to you in marriage are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's sisters, your sister's daughters, your wet nurse, your 'sisters' by nursing, your wives mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship born of your wives with whom you have consummated - if you did not consummate then there is no sin upon you, the wives of your blood sons, two sisters at the same time, except for that which has already passed. Verily, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. And those already married except those whom your right hand possesses (through capture); Allah's ordinance upon you. And allowed for you are all besides these if you seek them with your property seeking chastity not fornication...” (Q4:22-24)

Purpose of Marriage in Islam

1. Peace &Tranquility

2. Love & Affection

3. Mercy Of Allah (S.W.T.)

4. Self Development

5. Regulation Of Sexual Behavior

6. Companionship

7. Sense Of Security

8. Reproduction

9. Provision Of Social Status

10. Sustenance etc.

The rights which each of the two spouses have over the other are

i. The right to enjoy each other

ii. The right to inherit from each other

iii. The right of confirmation of the lineage of their children

The rights of the wife over the husband are as follows

i. The dowry (mahr)

ii. Support/mai

iii. Kind and proper treantenancetment

iv. Marital relations

v. Not to be beaten

vi. Privacy

vii. Justice between multiple wives

viii. To be taught her religion

ix. Defense of her honour

The rights of the husband over the wife on the other hand, are

i. Have a home and soft relaxing atmosphere in which both can live together smoothly, happily and enjoyably

ii. Being head of the household

iii. To be obeyed in all that is not disobedience to Allah

iv. To be answered for marital relations

v. Not to allow anyone in the house of whom he disapproves

vi. Not to leave the house without his permission

vii. That she cook for him, keep his house and properly manage the household

viii. That she remained faithful, loyal and devoted

ix. To be thanked for his efforts and not to be confronted with too many demand

x. That she not observe a voluntary fast without his permission if he Is resident, not on a journey

Introduction of Pre-Marriage Course in Islam

Marriage in Islam is recommended as a religious requirement and the way of the Prophets. Some scholars maintain that if a person has the ability to marry and treat his wife properly and fears strongly that he will engage in unlawful acts if he does not, then marriage in his case is obligatory; if he does not have the financial or physical means to marry or feels certain that he will not treat his wife properly then marriage in his case is forbidden; if he has the means to marry, but feels strongly that he will not treat his wife properly, marriage in his case is disliked; and if on the other hand, he has the means to marry and has no fear of mistreating his wife or of committing the unlawful if he does not marry, then marriage in his case is preferred.

The opinion that marriage is overall preferred seems to be the strongest opinion even though it may reach the level of obligation for those with the ability to marry and treat their wives properly and fear strongly that they will engage in unlawful acts if they did not based on the Prophet's (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) statement:

“Whoever has the ability should marry for it is better in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. Whoever is not able let him fast for it is for him a restraint.”

Also, there is a collective obligation on the Ummah as a whole to promote, defend and facilitate the institution of marriage. If marriage suffers from neglect or, for example, unreasonably high dowries which force people to postpone marriage too long, it is a collective obligation on the Ummah to come to its aid and to ensure that as many people as possible live within the context of a marriage. Also, if the Muslims come to have too many single women because of the abandonment of polygamy, it becomes a collective obligation on the Muslims to address and correct this situation.

These are some points to be known by both husband and wife as follows:

Procreation: This is one of the most important purposes of marriage; namely, to contribute through legitimate means to the continuity and preservation of the human race. The sexual urge serves the function of bringing the mates together for the fulfillment of this basic objective. The procreational objective has four aspects: to fulfill the will of God; to seek the love of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him); to benefit from the prayer of the child; and to profit from its intercession on behalf of its parents. Clearly, this goal could be achieved without marriage, but when actions are undertaken in disobedience to Allah, they do not receive the blessing of Allah and the whole society is corrupted. The Prophet (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said: “Marry the loving and the child-bearing, for I shall outstrip the other nations with your numbers on Qiyama.” The goal is to produce righteous children who will be obedient to Allah and who will be a source of reward for their parents after they die. The Prophet (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) will NOT be boasting before the other nations on the day of Qiyama with children of Muslim parents who left the path of Islam [1].

Sexual urges: The sexual urge is perhaps the most powerful human inclination. It seems not to be an end in itself, but a means to bring the mates together for the purpose of fertilization [2-6]. Yet its fulfillment is the most enjoyable and absorbing of human experiences. Failure to fulfill this urge is likely to lead either to deviation or to maladjustment. Deviation is dishonourable and is strictly forbidden in Islam. Men are inclined toward women and women are inclined toward men by their nature. Marriage is the institution which fulfills this desire and channels it in ways pleasing to Allah Most High. Allah mentions this attraction: “It has been made attractive to people the love of the desires for women, sons …” The Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) himself has made clear that the attraction between the sexes is something natural and not something to be denied or suppressed but it should be channeled in the ways pleasing to Allah (Most High). He said: "Women and perfume have been made beloved to me of this world of yours and my peace of mind is in the prayer. Therefore, some of the men are marrying for their sexual urges whole others marry for only passion and worldly needs in which may end of with divorce without knowing the rules of Shari’ah.

Social Importance: Finally, by adding responsibilities upon the individual, marriage enhances his status in society and gives him an opportunity for training in bearing the hardships of life. Living with a spouse, a person of different inclinations and background, trains one in accommodating oneself to new experiences; each party helps the other in the exercise of the virtues of patience and forbearance. The responsibility of rearing children and the need to earn for their living are added meritorious aspect arising from marriage.

Intercourse during menstruation: Islamic ethics and medical views

Menstruation is the periodic discharge of blood and mucosal tissue from the uterus and vagina. Islam places fair ethics in association with menstruating women, in contrast to the ethics introduced by the pre-Islamic (jahiliyyah) and Christian society.

Literally, menstrual blood is mainly composed of blood that comes out of a certain place at a certain amount and at a certain time, which is not caused by childbirth. The jurists (fuqaha’) of the four schools define menstruation as follows:

According to the Hanafi sect, menstruation means "discharge of blood from the womb, out of the inner genitals of a woman even in an theoretical way (hukmiy) which is not by reason of childbirth". The Maliki sect defines menstruation as “yellowish or turbid discharge that comes out naturally - that is not due to childbirth or the torn hymen and others - even once ".

The Shafie defines menstruation as "natural blood that comes naturally out of the cervix of a woman after reaching the age of the puberty in a healthy state without any reason, and at certain times". While the Hanbali school defines menstruation as "natural blood discharged in a healthy state which is not due to childbirth, out of the cervix in a regular cycle at certain times".

Islamic ethics on Intercourse during menstruation

First: Islam requires sexual intercourse while women are in a state of purity from menstruation or childbirth. The Qur'anic verse in surah al-Baqarah verse 222 mentions the time of restriction of sexual intercourse during menstruation. If other than that time, the law is required as the purpose of the word of God: “And they ask you about menstruation. Say, "It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves”.

Second: Husbands are prohibited from having sexual intercourse with the wife during menstruation. This ethic was agreed by the fuqaha. This is based on the Quranic verses in surah al-Baqarah verse 222.

Third: Islam allows husbands to enjoy the entire body of the woman during menstruation except between the navel and the knee.

Fourth: Islam also prohibits a husband from having sexual intercourse with a wife who has no menstrual blood before performing a purification bath (ghusl). This ethics means a wife, who has stopped her menstrual period or has passed the maximum period of menstruation and not yet performing a ritual bath, is prohibited from having sex with the husband. The Fuqaha had different opinions about law of intercourse with a wife who has no menstrual blood before performing a purification bath (ghusl). Part of the Hanafi school of jurisprudence said husband is allowed to have sexual intercourse with wife who has no menstrual blood before performing a purification bath (ghusl) with a condition that the menstrual blood must stop on the maximum period of ten days. While the other said haram or prohibited to husband from having sexual intercourse with a wife who has no menstrual blood before performing a purification bath (ghusl).

Fifth: Islam asks the husbands to wait for their wife of purity from menstruation. This is based on Allah's word in the same sentence, means: "Therefore keep away from the woman (do not intercourse with your wife) In the future the menstrual blood".

Sixth: Islam allows association between husband and wife in daily routine such as eating, drinking, sleeping and other activities.

Seventh: Islam discourages isolating women or wives during their menses by separating their place of residence.

Medical overview of pregnant women

There were substantial changes in health status over the course of pregnancy. Physical function scores were high prior to conception, declined substantially over the course of pregnancy, and improved postpartum. Vitality scores also declined over the course of pregnancy, but did not approach baseline levels by 3 months postpartum. The prevalence of depressive symptoms rose over the course of pregnancy, and then declined postpartum. Overall self-reported health status exhibited smaller changes over the course of pregnancy [7-10]. Some of the women hate their husbands during pregnancy in which may results divorce without realizing the status of woman is she. Some women during pregnancy may not cook food for their children due to the changes in their health status psychologically during pregnancy.

Year of breath feeding for newborn

Breastfeeding is a proven right of the infant, according to the rulings of sharee’ah, and must be provided for him by the one whose duty it is to do so. The fuqaha’ clearly stated that breastfeeding is the right of the child. They explained the reason for that as being that breastfeeding for an infant is like maintenance for an adult. What they said is true and is indicated by the Qur’an. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis” [al-Baqarah 2:233]

Allah has enjoined upon the father to spend on the woman who nurses his child, because nutrition reaches the child via the nurse through the breast milk. So spending on the nurse is in fact spending on him. It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat: The one who is obliged to spend on the infant, whether male or female, is obliged to spend on the child’s nurse, because the child is nourished by the milk produced by the nurse, and that can only happen if she is nourished. So it is obligatory to spend on the nurse because this is in fact spending on the child.

The scholars are unanimously agreed on the effects of breastfeeding in establishing the prohibition on marriage and on making the child the mahram of the woman who breastfeeds him, and making it permissible to look at her and be alone with her, but it does not make it obligatory to spend on the person, or make him an heir or a guardian in cases of marriage.

The reason for this mahram relationship is obvious, because when the infant is nourished by the milk of this woman, his flesh grows on that, so it is as if he is her own child. Doctors encourage giving the mother’s milk, especially in the early months. The wisdom of Allah in creating the nourishment of the child in his mother’s milk has been proven through scientific and medical research.

Medical benefits of breastfeeding

Breastfeeding brings great benefits. Allah has enjoined breastfeeding in His Book, when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling” So, Allah has stated the child’s right to be breastfed.

Fourteen hundred years after this verse was revealed, international organizations such as the World Health Organization have issued statement after statement calling on mothers to breastfeed their children, whereas Islam enjoined that fourteen centuries ago.

Causes of marriage breakdown

i. Absence of knowledge on what marriage is all about?

ii. Misunderstanding about the purposes and goals of marriage

iii. Hallucination about the reality of marriage life

iv. Force marriage

v. Poor communication

vi. Financial problems

vii. Lack of commitment to the marriage

viii. Dramatic change in priorities

ix. Infidelity

x. Failed expectations or unmet needs

xi. Addictions and substance abuse

xii. Physical or emotional abuse

xiii. Lack of parenting skills

xiv. Lack of conflict resolution skills

xv. Isolation and lack of community support

xvi. Individualism

Specifically, the causes of widespread divorce among Muslims especially in Nigeria, in addition to the causes identified above, include:

i. Ignorance about marriage and divorce in Islam

ii. Force and pretentious marriage

iii. Poverty

iv. Immorality (attitude of marrying and remarrying)

v. Waiver on implication of divorce

vi. Societal factor

Solution to the above problems

Beautiful reception: After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you, begin with a good greeting:

i. Meet him with a cheerful face.

ii. Beautify and perfume yourself.

iii. Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.

iv. Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.

v. Beautify and soften your voice

vi. Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

Smelling good and physical beautification:

i. Take good care of your body and fitness.

ii. Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

iii. Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

iv. Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.

v. Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation.

vi. Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.

vii. Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.

Intercourse:

i. Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

ii. Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

iii. Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

iv. Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

v. Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband, and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

Satisfaction with what Allah (SWT) has allotted:

i. Do not be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job.

ii. Look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (the Most High) for all that was given to you.

iii. Remember that real wealth lays in faith and piety.

Indifference to worldly things:

i. Do not consider this world as your hope and interest.

ii. Do not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

iii. Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and utilize whatever Allah (the Most High) gave them to achieve paradise.

iv. Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

Appreciation:

i. By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

ii. The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways.

iii. The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?

Devotion and loyalty:

i. In particular in times of calamities in your husband‟s body or business, e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

ii. Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

Compliance to him:

i. In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited.

ii. In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

Pleasing him if he is angry:

i. Try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.

ii. If it happens that you cannot, then try to appease him as follows: (1) if you are mistaken, then apologize (2) if he is mistaken then: keep still instead of arguing or yield your right or wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him (3) if he was angry because of external reasons then: keep silent until his anger goes, find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him, and do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened (e.g. you should tell me what happened or I must know what made you so angry or you are hiding something, and I have the right to know).

Guardianship in his absence:

i. Protect yourself from any prohibited relationships.

ii. Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husband does not like other people to know.

iii. Take care of the house and children.

iv. Take care of his money and properties

v. Do not go out of your house without his permission.

vi. Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.

vii. Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.

viii. Be good to his parents and relatives in his absence.

Showing respect for his family and friends:

i. Welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

ii. Avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives

iii. Avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife.

iv. Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

v. Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.

vi. Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc.

Admirable jealousy:

i. Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others, disrespecting them, etc.

ii. You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

Patience and emotional support:

i. Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

ii. When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

iii. When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

Good housekeeping:

i. Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.

ii. Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.

iii. Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.

iv. Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.

v. Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

Preservation of finances and the family:

i. Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

ii. Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

iii. Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc.

Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

How to make your wife happy

Beautiful reception:

i. After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you

ii. Begin with a good greeting.

iii. Start with Salam, the Islamic way of greeting and a smile.

iv. Shake her hand and leave bad news for later.

Sweet speech and enchanting invitations:

i. Choose words that are positive and avoid negative ones.

ii. Give her your attention when you speak of she speaks.

iii. Speak with clarity and repeat words if necessary until she understands.

iv. Call her with the nice names that she likes, e.g. my sweetheart, honey, etc.

Friendliness and recreation:

i. Spend time talking together.

ii. Spread to her goods news.

iii. Remember your good memories together.

Games and distractions:

i. Joke around & having a sense of humor.

ii. Play and compete with each other in sports or whatever.

iii. Take her to watch permissible types of entertainment and avoid prohibited things in your choices of entertainment.

Assistance in the household:

i. Do what you as an individual can do that helps out, especially if she is sick or tired.

ii. Show appreciation for her hard work.

Consultation:

i. Give her the feeling that her opinion is important to you.

ii. Study her opinion carefully.

iii. Be willing to change an opinion for hers if it is better.

iv. Thank her for helping him with her opinions.

Visiting others:

i. Choose well raised people to build relations with.

ii. Pay attention to ensure Islamic manners during visits.

iii. Not forcing her to visit whom she does not feel comfortable with.

Conduct during travel:

i. Offer a warm farewell and good advice.

ii. Ask her to pray for him.

iii. Ask pious relatives and friends to take care of the family in your absence.

iv. Give her enough money for what she might need.

v. Try to stay in touch with her whether by phone, e-mail, letters, etc..

vi. Return as soon as possible.

vii. Bring her a gift.

viii. Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night.

ix. Take her with you if possible.

Financial support:

i. Be generous within your financial capabilities and do not be miser or nor wasteful.

ii. Be encouraged to give to her before she asks.

Smelling good and physical beautification:

i. Follow the Sunnah in removing hair from the groin and underarms.

ii. Always be clean and neat.

iii. Put on perfume for her.

Intercourse:

i. Do it habitually within acceptable limit if you have no excuse (sickness, etc.)

ii. Enter into her in the proper place only (not the anus).

iii. Begin with foreplay including words of love.

iv. Continue until she satisfies her desire.

v. Relax and joke around afterwards.

vi. Choose suitable times for intercourse and be considerate as sometimes she maybe sick or exhausted.

Guarding privacy:

i. Avoid disclosing private information such as bedroom secrets, her personal problems and other private matters.

Aiding in the obedience to Allah:

i. Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray

ii. Teach her what you know of the Qur'an and its tafseer.

iii. Teach her "Dhikr" (ways to remember Allah by the example of the prophet) in the morning and evening.

iv. Encourage her to spend money for the sake of Allah such as in a charity sale.

v. Take her to Hajj and Umrah when you can afford to do so.

Showing respect for her family and friends:

i. Take her to visit her family and relatives, especially her parents.

ii. Invite them to visit her and welcome them.

iii. Give them presents on special occasions.

iv. Help them when needed with money, effort, etc..

v. Keep good relations with her family and friends after her death if she dies first.

Islamic- training & admonition:

i. Train her on the basics of Islam, Islamic rules relating to women, her duties and rights and reading and writing.

ii. Encourage her to attend lessons and study circles.

iii. Buy Islamic books and tapes for the home library

Admirable jealousy:

i. Ensure she is wearing proper hijab before leaving house.

ii. Restrict free mixing with non-mahram men.

iii. Avoiding excess jealousy such as: (i) analyzing every word and sentence she says and overloading her speech by meanings that she did not mean (ii) preventing her from going out of the house when the reasons are just (iii) preventing her from answering the phone.

Patience and mildness:

i. Problems are expected in every marriage so this is normal. What is wrong is excessive responses and magnifying problems until a marital breakdown.

ii. Anger should be shown when she exceeds the boundaries of Allah SWT, by delaying prayers, backbiting, watching prohibited scenes on TV, etc..

iii. Forgive the mistakes she does to you and correct her mistakes in the best way possible.

iv. 18. Pardoning and Appropriate Censure

v. Account her only for larger mistakes.

vi. Forgive mistakes done to you but account her for mistakes done in Allah's rights, e.g. delaying prayers, etc..

vii. Remember all the good she does whenever she makes a mistake.

viii. Remember that all humans err so try to find excuses for her such as maybe she is tired, sad, having her monthly cycle or that her commitment to Islam is growing.

ix. Avoid attacking her for the bad cooking of the food

x. Before declaring her to be in error, try other indirect approaches that are more subtle than direct accusations

xi. Escape from using insults and words that may hurt her feelings.

xii. When it becomes necessary to discuss a problem, wait until you have privacy from others.

xiii. Waiting until the anger has subsided a bit can help to keep a control on your words.

Conclusion

In conclusion, spouses should strive to make other happy and take into consideration the needs, abilities and weaknesses of the other. Since in most cases, neither spouse is completely fulfilling their obligations, they should both realize and acknowledge their own shortcomings.

Recommendations

From the above, the researcher would like to put forward the following recommendations:

1. The ward heads, local government, state and Federal government should enforced upon couples to undergo pre-marriage course and present certification of completion before the marriage consummated for hitch free marriage

2. The government, non-governmental organizations and Islamic leaders should collaborate in organizing campaigns so as to create more awareness on the benefits of undergoing this course

3. Scholars should enforced the proposed spouses to present pre-marriage course certificate before the marriage will be consummated in order to reduce the rate of divorce among Muslim Ummah.

4. Regular seminars and workshops should always be organized by the government for the Islamic leaders so that they can be educated on the matter pre-marriage course and the medical overview of woman during pregnancy.

5. The Islamic leaders should also educate their followers through their public lectures, sermon, and Friday prayers on danger to who did not undergo this course.

6. Provision of pre-marriage counseling to couples to be as well as specialized post-test counseling based on the results can also help.

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